“HOLY HUSH” MEANS people of faith keep quiet about abuse, women don’t feel empowered to speak their truth, or families feel pressure to pretend everything is fine when it’s not. Part of the fear is that if we speak out, that means we’re not a forgiving community. Responding to abuse is about justice, accountability, and change, which often isn’t what those who act abusively want. They want quick forgiveness; this can be challenging to a religious leader who says, “It’s not my role to forgive. It’s God’s role. It’s the victim’s role.”

Religious women often feel they promised God to be faithful to the end. That’s where a religious leader can say, “You haven’t broken the covenant. The person who’s been abusive broke the covenant. Seventy times seven doesn’t mean someone can hit you over 400 times, say they’re sorry, and you say, ‘Let’s go back to life as it was.’”