'And Also With You...'

AS A FORMER Baptist child who often mocked Catholic school children for their outfits—which paled against my own fashionable ensemble of striped pants, checked shirt, and flannel hat (with flaps!)—I admit that as an adult I have warmed to the “one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church.” (Did I get that right?) Catholics have better steeples, usually with bells, and cool smoke during worship, and interesting stained glass windows to look at if the homilist lacks conviction, which he often does, compared to the preachers of my youth. They would sweat right through their white suits as they paced back and forth describing the Coming Judgment which—and they were very clear on this point—will not be pretty.

We didn’t have much to do with the Catholics in our small Indiana town, except to occasionally remark on their odd rituals, their odd prayers (sometimes to a woman!), and their great fish fries, which Baptists could attend, under cover. We also noticed the lack of American flags on their altars. How was that Christian?

But as I grew older and experimented with different church traditions, I became more open to Catholicism and frequently visited on Sundays, under cover.

Granted, I never cared for the confessional booth—you can’t take food in there—and the singing was a little lackluster during Mass. On the other hand, the congregation could leave during the final song, as opposed to staying in the pews until somebody got saved, hopefully before Mom’s roast had to come out of the oven.

Lately the Catholic Church has become particularly appealing to me because, as a recovering Southern Baptist, this is the pope I’ve been waiting for.

HE WAS BORN Jorge Mario Bergoglio, but when he became pope he chose the name Francis, because it has fewer syllables and no “g”s. (It’s hard to stop saying “bergoglio” once you get started.) The original Saint Francis, as you know, left a wealthy life to live among the common folk and commune with birds and other animals, which back then, no offense, were better conversationalists than the common folk. He was known for his humility, a trait that Pope Francis has sought to emulate through acts of mercy, justice, and limiting his tweets to less than 100 a day.

Pope Francis has distinguished himself by preaching the gospel of forgiveness and tolerance, by calling for economic justice, and by wielding the mighty sword of righteous anger against those flat-earthers who DENY THE FACTS OF CLIMATE CHANGE!!

Okay, that last one was mine, and I’m not the pope. He’s got millions of followers. I’ve got 700 words, none of them written with the spirit of humility shown by Saint Francis. Although, to be fair, I do talk to my cat.

I WAS LOOKING forward to meeting the pope last month when he made a surprise visit to our office. He was in the nation’s capital to share his vision for creation care and economic fairness, and since we’ve been advocating those things for decades I just assumed he’d stop by with a high five and a buen trabajo, which is Spanish for “heckofajob.” But he never showed up, even though we had snacks. But that’s understandable. Most of the roads were blocked in his honor, although that little car he rides in could probably have gotten through.

It was definitely hard for the rest of us to get around in D.C. that week. In fact, I had to ride my bike for two days, drastically reducing my carbon footprint, which is good, but missing the traffic reports on NPR, which is bad, because they would have told me where to ride my bike.

But it was for the best, because my commute took me right through the places the pope visited—the National Shrine, the Capitol building, St. Matthew’s Cathedral, and Potbelly’s, which has that new pulled-pork sandwich. Okay, that last one was mine. But I wouldn’t have seen the sign driving in my car. Nope. It took riding on the sidewalk to see that. (By the way, why do pedestrians think they can just turn without signaling?)

So thank you, Pope Francis, for bringing the message of hope and forgiveness to the world, and for reminding us that global warming is caused by human activity. Come to think of it, so is pulled pork.