To Know and Be Known

“WE CAN'T PUT cheese on all of the hamburgers for dinner, and can you please say ‘Dear God’ not ‘Dear Jesus’ when you pray?” These were instructions I gave to my dad before a birthday party in elementary school, worried that my new Jewish friends would not feel comfortable in our Christian home. Because I grew up in a religiously diverse area, I was cognizant of differences in religious practice before I knew the beliefs behind my own Christian rituals.

This is how my journey of interfaith learning and leadership began: by inviting my friends from school over to play and making sure they had something to eat. In his book Interfaith Leadership, Eboo Patel defines interfaith experiences as those “where people with diverse faiths interact, and their faith identities are somehow involved.” We weren’t just religiously diverse students sitting next to each other at school sharing our crayons—we were in each other’s homes, and that meant our faith identities were exposed and explored.

Interfaith Leadership outlines three questions that come up in interactions with people different from you: Who am I? Who are you? How do we relate to each other? Through stories of his experiences and those of friends from different faiths, Patel, founder of Interfaith Youth Core and a Sojourners columnist, shows us the process of becoming an interfaith leader who builds bridges and strengthens communities. He explains theories behind interfaith work in a way that is easy to understand, applying them directly to daily interactions and conflicts. For a short primer, Interfaith Leadership could be the most helpful tool for anyone striving to develop “positive, constructive, warm, caring, cooperative engagement” (aka “relationship”) with others.

Patel also makes the case for why, in our increasingly pluralistic society, interfaith relationships are crucial to a thriving democracy. He warns against stopping at just “respect” and accommodation in a religiously diverse community—arguing that this only leads to increased tribalism. He writes, “If the chief virtue in our diverse society is respect for identity, we are in danger of becoming a nation where people accommodate those with whom they disagree but have little else to do with them.” The U.S. political system relies on participation by all of its citizens, and “diversity, when left alone, tends toward isolation.”

Community-based interfaith leaders can lead neighbors in building bridges of friendship and trust by encouraging dialogue about values each holds strongly. Conversely, the more that neighbors grow in relationship by doing things together, the more naturally conversations about different faith and life experiences emerge.

Justice leaders often get asked, “Why bother working for something that most likely will never be achieved?” Patel provides an eloquent response to those who doubt the feasibility of reaching an engaged and positive pluralism: “The landscape becomes far more beautiful along the way.” Local benefits of civic engagement through an interfaith lens can make the struggle for changes in hearts at the national level a bit easier. A relatable, resourceful leader with the grit to keep going after getting knocked back can see prejudice reduced, social problems addressed, and binding narratives written through interfaith relationship-building.

“The time for interfaith leaders has come,” concludes Patel. Whether he is referencing the high rate of interfaith conflicts around the globe or the hateful rhetoric regarding diversity that has exploded on the U.S. political scene, I could not agree more. An interfaith leader would be remiss to not have Interfaith Leadership in her back pocket for the journey.